Existential muffin crisis

The bone I have to pick with muffins is that they're too big, too dry, too tasteless or too sweet. I have had great muffins – fluffy muffins. (the word "muffin" sounds snuggly and fluffy, like if it cram it into your mouth you'd be overcome by a blanket of food bliss – the ultimate comfort snack) I've made some pretttty good tasting muffins lately.

The thing is: I'm not sure if the muffins I've been making of late can even be classified as muffins.

What is a muffin? What is a cupcake? Is a cupcake a glorified muffin with icing and no filling? Is it possible to have a red velvet muffin? What about a fruity cupcake? Why do some people love cupcakes but avoid muffins? Would calling a cupcake a muffin make someone feel better about eating it? Would you rather eat a muffin for breakfast instead of a muffin? Is a cupcake even a breakfast food? Are muffins healthier than cupcakes if you disregard the icing? What if you put icing on a muffin? Is a cupcake a mini cake? Is a muffin a mini fruitcake?

The muffins I've made lately in my opinion, are a cupcake pudding muffin hybrid. Pudding (think bread pudding) because I've put so many ingredients of goodness in them (half a pint of blueberries and an oversized peach) that they're heavy and moist because of the juice in the fruit. Cupcake because they have a cake-like consistency and not crumbly (and the face that they're little). I've never liked "muffins" but mine are pretty darn good and if they were in a café I'd buy 2 of them. So maybe this is making a big deal out of nothing and I've made a muffin actually worthy of craving. Which in itself, is quite an accomplishment.